Responding to the news today that almost all Americans want him killed President Trump demonstrated a blasé attitude in front of journalists in the White House. Trump insisted that the chances of him being shot on a return to Dallas are unlikely as his sons have just purchased the Textbook Depository building and are turning it into a debaucherous Trump Casino.
With the possibility of shooting Trump from the textbook depository ruled out interest in the grassy knoll has intensified since Trump’s inauguration last Friday. With a bloodbath ensuing on Elm Street the public fought relentlessly for the infamous grassy knoll from which Kennedy was allegedly shot. Speaking to one man involved today he said; “Dallas has a real chance to put things right, Kennedy should never have been shot but now we have the opportunity to kill a real bastard!” before riding off on horseback.
With just about everyone in the country plotting an assassination the FBI has come under increasing pressure to ensure that Trump will be left to die. Speaking at a press conference in Washington DC FBI Director James Comey spoke candidly about his plans to ensure that Trump has no protection even going on to say that he would personally kill the President himself if need be. The bold statement garnered a round of applause from the journalists on scene who agreed that personally assassinating Trump would be the only way for Comey to redeem himself after ruining the 2016 Election for most Americans.
In the wake of recent threats from Stephen Bannon it has proven increasingly difficult for Gen Y Bother or any other media outlet to receive further comment on assassination hopes. As such we have succumbed to Bannon’s threats and decided to sew our mouths shut and pray for Trump’s death sooner rather than later.